When Is It A Good Time?

I would like to start this off by introducing each of my children in their own posts, telling a little about them, and then diving into a situation that we are dealing with at this current moment. So in true chronological order, i am going to begin with my oldest, Haidyn.

Haidyn is 10 years old, born in November. She is a 4th grader and an amazing student. It does my sanity good to know i don’t have to worry (well sometimes i have to worry) about her doing well in school. She dances, does pageants, can tumble a little, took a bit of theater (which we plan on starting again this coming fall) and is such a social butterfly. She has such a maturity about her, and holds herself with such grace and beauty. She is gorgeous with eyes that can cut right to your soul. She’s funny and goofy, doesn’t take most things to heart, but has a very genuine and caring nature. She is everything i want to be when i grow up. ❤

So now that you know more about my first born, let us move right into what is troubling her at this moment. She is in the 4-H club at her school. As she is a 4th grader, she is one of the younger ones in the club, so we just dipped our toes into the activities this year, taking part in the two cookeries that have been held so far as well as the talent show, and entering a few items into the local fair. At the end of the school year, there is a 4-H camp for 4th- 6th graders, about 4 hours away from where we live, and she would be gone for 3 nights. As first time parents of a child who wants to go away to an overnight camp, and taking into account the world we live in now, her daddy and I are both cringing with the prospect. So much so, that her daddy, Landon, flat out said no. No. NO, and that was his final word on the matter. I’ve brought it up twice and was shut down both times, and watching as the tears streamed down her cheeks, it was all i could do not to cry along with her.

So I understand wanting that freedom. I also just know in my heart that 10 is too young, even as mature as she is. I know 4-H camp wouldn’t be a terrible place to start. I have gone through all this in my head. I want her to have the experience, i want her to go. But not yet. And she just doesn’t understand. I don’t blame her. She is decently sheltered kid. She knows about the world and a few of the dangers. But not all. Lets take procreation, for example. She has all the puzzle pieces, but she hasn’t been told how to put them together yet. I always said i would tell her about the birds and the bees around age 10. A few years before her cycle is set to start and plenty of time to understand where babies come from and a ton of time to hopefully prevent a teen pregnancy. (This is where i say, no i do not wish a teen pregnancy on anyone. if you’re a teen mom, and doing well, kudos to you, but that is not what i want for my kiddos, and i will NOT pretend that it is ok. If you take offense to this, then you should probably take a look in the mirror, because you are part of the problem)

Haidyn has huge goals, even as a 10 year old. Goals she has had since she was 5. She would like to be a doctor. I want her to reach any goal she has in life. So i give her every opportunity that i could possibly give her. I digress, as i have gotten of topic… I changed my mind on telling her how babies are made when she turned 10, and every month after that, i revisited the topic and kept changing my mind. I want to keep her innocent for as long as i can. So when she brings up WHY she can’t go away, 4 hours away, overnight for 3 nights, i want to shout from the roof tops, BECAUSE THERE IS A POSSIBILITY THAT YOU COULD BE…… and you can use your imagination to fill the rest of that in. Obviously that would be the last way i would explain things to her. I don’t want to traumatize her. But i do want her to understand. Not all the world glitters and there are dangers that are beyond her knowledge. So my dilemma is.. when is it a good time? That question is relative. Its a good time when a parent sees fit. I understand that. But as a parent, I strive to make the right choice. I don’t want to regret it later. I have concluded that telling her about sex now, would definitely make it easier to explain as to why Landon and I do not want her to go away yet. Its not her, its other’s that we don’t trust. Its the fact that her daddy was once a little boy, and he knows how they think and behave. Maybe not a 10 year old, but a 12 year old, for sure. And I do think she is old enough to take the info, and comprehend it. But… i still cannot bring myself to do it. When i look at her, i still see my baby. My beautiful little angel who believes in mermaids, and Santa Claus. Not the young lady that is growing before my eyes, too fast for me to even begin to process. And trying to find that (Not so) sweet spot, where i have to ruin things for her forever.. that is difficult!

So concluding this post, I do believe I’ve decided not to tell her yet. Soon. But not yet. I would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on this matter. Personal experiences either of how you were told, or when and how you told your children, would be welcomes and greatly appreciated!